Journal Entry
December 3, 1987

Time, time, after time I ask myself Who am I?, What am I? What am I doing?. Questions for myself. Questions for anyone. Is there a purpose for my life? Is there life with out purpose? Why do I even think of such things? Is not life enough with out asking why?

Today I had strong memories of the past. I went to Pete's Ocean Grill to eat. It was a cool day and it brought back memories of a time several years ago when I had gone to Pete's for lunch. On that day Wendy*, her husband and her parents came in to eat. I had been in love with Wendy years before and had not seen her for several years. The feelings of seeing her again brought back the memories of those times we spent together in the past. How painful it was seeing her again with her husband. She would never be mine. She would never love me the way I wanted.

Today was again like that day. The memories of that day came flooding back. I expected to walk into Pete's and see Wendy sitting there.

I ate lunch alone watching the waves break on the beach and the gulls flying in the wind. The hustle and bustle of the summer crowd gone. My heart felt as empty as the the empty parking lot outside. And I wondered where was she now. So many years ago we were close, now we are so far away.

Were they friends or just acquaintances? Where have they all gone?