2023

The Squirrel
Sickness, Death and Dying with Dignity
A Deeply Rooted Story
By Larry Mixson

Alley and Buddy at the back door looking at the squirrel

Alley raced to the back door, meowing loudly and wanting out as she saw something outside.  I’ve seen the behavior before, perhaps a bird, a lizard, once there was a bunny rabbit. I get up to go see what has got her so riled up and find a squirrel outside on the patio.  There have been squirrels on the patio before looking for some tidbit of food, perhaps birdseed spilled from filling up the bird feeders.  No problem, I thought, let Alley out and she would chase the squirrel away, something I’ve done before. No harm has ever come to the squirrels as they are much faster than Alley.  Alley, or her full name, Alley Cat, got her name after I adopted her after being rescued from an alley.  Alley likes to chase things, she’s most proficient at catching lizards which she brings into the house which Buddy, my other cat, takes away from her to play with.  So I let Alley out to chase the squirrel away, with the opening in the sliding door just open enough for her to slip through she runs quickly over to the squirrel fully expecting a chase after but as she approaches the squirrel it doesn’t run but oddly looks at her and just sits there. 

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I rush out the door to stop Alley from doing harm to the squirrel only to find her sitting there a few inches away looking at it.  The squirrel wasn’t moving and, if you know cats, if it is not moving, they are not likely to attack, something to remember if you ever encounter a mountain lion in the wilderness.  I run up to Alley and the squirrel and brush Alley away, of course she is hesitant to leave such a prize but with encouragement she heads to the door where I find Buddy has now exited the house and is eying the squirrel.  Well, I did my best at herding cats back into the house, which if you never tried, was quite a feat with them so interested in the squirrel. 

After managing to get Alley and Buddy back into the house I went out and checked on the squirrel fully expecting it to have run away but it was still sitting there seemly dazed.  After looking closer I could see one eye was clouded, it has blotches on its fur, was very thin, and had its head seemly permanently cocked to one side.  I felt bad for it so left it alone and went back inside but kept an eye on it. After fifteen minutes it was still there.  Thinking it must be hungry I took a piece of bread out and put it in front of it and went back inside to watch.  The squirrel sitting hunched over the bread seem interested in it, so I leave it alone.

A half hour later I checked on the squirrel and it left the bread which is odd for squirrels love bread and would normally eat it in a moment or carry it away to eat yet there was the piece of bread mostly uneaten.  Looking around I see the squirrel a dozen feet away going round and round in circles, slowly spiraling inwards until the circle grew small then spiraling slowly outwards, always spiraling in the direction of it crooked head as if its body wouldn’t let it turn the other way. I stood at the window and watched this go on for a good five minutes when I decided to call my daughter who knows about such things as she is a veterinarian.

I reach my daughter on video chat with my phone camera pointed at the squirrel and when she answers I explain what was going on with the squirrel.  I am somewhat relieved when she says it likely some neurological problem, and not the dreaded R word, rabies.  Even so I’m glad that Alley didn’t come into contact with the squirrel.

My daughter asked what I planned to do about the squirrel and, after seeing how skinny and bad off it was, I suggested it should be put out of its misery and my daughter asked how I would do that.  I half seriously tell her I could take the machete and chop its head off, she didn’t care much for that idea, and I really didn’t either as it would be to bloody.  The only time I have ever cut off the head of an animal was fish, and they were well dead at the time of the chopping.  I do remember when I was a boy at my grandparents farm in the country and we were going to have chicken for dinner.  Grandma went out to the barnyard, caught a chicken, proceeded to cut its head off and then let it run around.  I learned firsthand the meaning of the phrase “running around like a chicken with its head cut off.”  It is a phrase that you don’t hear much anymore with most people buying store bought chicken.

With chopping the squirrel’s head off the chopping block, I suggested I could put some gloves on and wring its neck.  Not a pleasant thought I know, but I saw it done on one of those TV survival shows, I cringed a bit at the sight but thought I might be able to do it.  Well needless to say my daughter ruled that option out too and suggested I catch the squirrel and take it into the animal hospital and let them deal with it, and if needed could, “put it to sleep.”   This seemed like a reasonable solution, I remember putting our fifteen year old cat to sleep after its health was failing and it could hardly walk anymore.  My daughter, recently graduated from veterinarian school,  said she could do it at home and she brought home the injection and gave it to our cat as we sat on the kitchen floor cradling it. All of our eyes were full of tears as he peacefully passed.

So taking the squirrel to the animal hospital was an option but I got thinking how the squirrel would experience it.  Imagine being grabbed by powerful hands, put in a box for a period of time, then opened to bright lights, grabbed again, prodded, probed, it would be like some alien abduction which it would not have survived, but granted, with a prick of a needle it would have quietly passed and crossed over to whatever realm that squirrels go to when they die. It would be traumatic for the squirrel, I thought.  I brought back memories of taking my father into the emergency room with its bright harsh lights, being examined by the doctor.  I wasn’t sure I wanted to put the squirrel through such an experience that it had no conception of what was happening.

As our video chat ended my daughter encouraged me to take the squirrel to the hospital and I said I would think about it.  After a half hour of ever contracting and expanding spirals I gave up watching the squirrel, I thought it best to leave it alone and let pass in its natural environment and not subject it to the harsh reality of the hospital.  Dusk then night fell and as I went to bed I wondered if the squirrel was still out there doing spirals or did it finally settle down. 

The next morning I went out at first light to see if the squirrel was still there but it was not to be found.  I hope that it found some peace and perhaps died with dignity in its natural environment.