2023

Finding Center
April 1st 2023

My Collage

Through a series of connected events, I received a brochure for an Intuitive Art and Mindful Movement Workshop and it looked interesting so I signed up for it. The workshop, led by Sarit Sela, was described as “Through discussion, journaling, mindful movement mindful movement and simple collage making, we will explore the meaning of finding our own center…” The workshop was held at Sarit’s home and so I showed up about fifteen minutes early, parked on the street in front of her house, got out and walked up to the front door. The house is an older, red brick, two story, stately looking house and as I approached the front door, Sarit opens it and tells me and another woman who just arrived to follow the path around to the back of the house. It was a perfect spring day for the workshop, bright and sunny with a few scattered clouds in the sky, nice temperature and a light breeze blowing.

We proceeded around to the side of the house through a gate in a picket fence and entered the back yard which is beautifully landscaped with large oak trees towering over it. On a grassy spot under a tree was a circle of cushions where Sarit said we would begin the workshop once everyone arrived which didn’t take long. I was the only man amongst four women taking the workshop and Sarit the host, but that didn’t bother me, I had been in similar yoga classes and workshops before. With us all seated Sarit described the plan for the workshop, short talk followed by mindful movement, college making, more movement, more journaling and then final discussion. Sounded good to me.

Just as Sarit finished the introduction, a few sprinkles of rain started so we moved into the porch attached to the house where we again gathered seated in a circle on the cushions. The porch was nicely decorated with many pieces of art hanging on the walls, bookcases and tables in the room. From the workshop brochure and what I saw online, I knew that Sarit is a mixed-media visual artist and so I assumed the pieces of art were hers. I would have liked to have spent some time looking at all the art, but we soon were seated and the workshop continued.

Sarit then gave a nice introduction of what “being centered” meant giving us an exercise in journaling to help us find it. For the exercise she gave us three questions to journal about:

• How does it feel to be centered?

• When do I feel centered?

• What are my tools for feeling centered?

 I have been to several workshops which journaling was part of and have always found it difficult for me. It’s not that I don’t like journaling, after all I been writing my journals for over fifty years. What is hard for me is to journal “upon request” and to journal about specific topics or feelings. My personal journaling is done when the time and mood strikes me, or I feel I need to write about something. We were provided with nice small notebooks to write in and we proceeded to journal about the provided questions. I managed to write a dozen short sentences, well at least partial sentences and soon the time was up and we moved to the next part of the workshop, movement.

The sprinkle of rain didn’t amount to anything, so we proceeded outside and stood in a circle, a good arm’s distance apart and Sarit led us through a series of moments which seem to come part from yoga, part from martial arts (Sarit is a Nia martial arts instructor), and part dance. I had been doing yoga for many years, before that some karate and even took a few years of modern dance classes. The movement part of the workshop was easier for me than the journaling although I wasn’t all that comfortable about the dance part. Although I took dance classes for several years, it was the classes and learning that I liked, and have always danced in private at home, I even have created my own “Deeply Rooted” dance to go with my Deeply Rooted story. What I have never cared much for is dancing in public or with others. But decided I needed to extend out past my comfort zone and had come mentally prepared for the “dance” part of the workshop and so I moved, I danced. It was fun.

After the movement part was over we took a short break and then moved to the collage part of the workshop for which we moved to a small building in the back yard where there were tables for each person. The room was bright and sunny, and had a pleasant, comfortable feeling about it. Upon each table were basic collage supplies, scissors, small poster board, exacto knife, glue, ruler, and a couple of National Geographic magazines. Sarit then proceed to describe what we were to do, find pictures and images in the magazine that in some way reflected upon what we wrote in the journal about Centering. Sarit then proceed to demonstrate finding an image, trimming it and pasting in on the poster card. OK, I was in my element, I had made many a collages before, even using pictures from National Geographic. One of my earliest works was when I was a teenager and I made a six by six foot collage using photos from National Geographic and Life magazines. I wish Mom had save it. Oh well.

I flipped through the magazines, finding several images which for what ever reason appealed to me and tore them out of the magazine. After collecting a good selection of images I begin cutting to size, trimming, and arranging them and came up with a collage that I was happy with.

With the collage portion of the workshop completed we took another shot break where Sarit set out some light refreshments. With the break complete, we did another round of movement which Sarit led us again standing under the tree. It was the beautiful day, as I looked up at the bright blue sky between the branches of the tree, a gentle breeze blowing, I forgot, well mostly so, that I was amongst others and just moved in the moment. When the movement was over we headed back inside the porch to do another round of journaling.

For the second round of journaling Sarit provided the following list of topics:

• Who are you?

• What do you need or want from me?

• What do you have to give me?

• How will I remember?

And then suggested you answer the above by starting with:

“I am the one who…”

Well this is where my mind goes blank, I stare at the questions, I have no idea how to answer them. I get all logical, rational, “Who are you?” well I am a man. Oh come on Larry, I say to myself, they know that, that is not what the question is asking. The I confuse myself further, who is the “you” and who is the “me” in the questions, am I the “you” or am I the “me”. Well there is no significate other in my life, so who would be the you and me?  he “you” could just be a general “you” like in everyone. Ok, I’m making this too complicated. And my mind goes on like this in circles. Well time was up, the only thing I had written was the questions.

We then moved to the final, interpretative part of the workshop which we were to present our collage and describe how it connects to what we journaled. Sarit offered to go off in pairs for this or to do it as a group. I didn’t know any of the women, and being the odd man out, (pun intended) if we did pairs then I would have likely ended up paring with Sarit, which appealed to me, but I thought I would be more comfortable doing it in a group so I speak up suggesting group instead of pairs and a couple of other women agreed.

In such a situation there is always one that goes first and one that goes last. When I was younger I always wanted to be the last one, then I could see what the persons before me said and I had time to develop my own thoughts, but over the years had gained confidence in myself and found I didn’t mind going first so when Sarit asked who want’s to go first, after a short pause in which no one spoke up, I said I would.

I hold up my small collage for everyone could see it I described it: "Images of the elements, at the bottom is the earth with abandoned railroad tracks leading off into the distance, there is water with sunlight streaming through an open window shining down upon it, a cloud in the sky, trees leading downward, Finding Center in which there is an arrow pointing the way."

We proceeded around the circle each describing our collage when it came to the final woman. She sat on the cushion, knees drawn up to her chest, shoulders hunched over, meekly holding her collage in front of her and told the story behind her collage, about her family, about her children, how she felt, she needed something, some release, she was reaching out, telling us her story. As she told her story, tears formed in her eyes, the woman setting next to her handed her a tissue and my own eyes began to tear. She bravely continued on, her shoulders hunched over, she finished her story. After a moment of silence from the group, I felt strongly she needed a hug, I looked around at the other women, the one sitting next to her who told her own story with tears, did not reach towards her, I looked at the others, the same. Now I’m prone to spontaneous hugs, and sitting next to the woman, I leaned over instinctively wanting to hug her, but held back, me as the only man in the group, didn’t feel appropriate for me to give. If I was one of the other women I would have rushed over and hugged her, I could not understand why the other women did not do so. But I could do nothing, my empathy surged forth, I want to lean over and hug her but as a man I did not feel that I should, so I reached out and placed my hand on her shoulder, she did not flinch, nor did she relax under my touch, I can only hope that she felt that I cared, that she was not alone with her feelings. Where was the empathy that women were supposed to have, where was the empathy that women were supposed to show…

“Hug her!”, I wanted to scream out. But I could not do so for I was only a man.

As a final thing we placed our cards in the center of the circle, and the architect side of Sarit, arranged them in a nice linear fashion and took a picture. I suggested placing the collages in a circle, just as we were sitting in a circle, and the cards were rearranged and another picture taken.

With that the workshop was over and we all soon departed.

I found it to be a wonderful workshop, I enjoyed the combining of art, movement, and yes even the journaling. The workshop took me out of my comfort zone and allowed me to express myself.

 

more comming..