A Conversaton with Elizabeth
1998
Definiteness

From:          Elizabeth
To:            larry.m.mixson@bvs.com
Date:          2/24/98 10:07am
Subject:       Definiteness
 
I think if you are in an active, ongoing relationship then knowing the terms of that relationship is very salient. Sometimes that unfolds over time and is not clear up front. Expectations may not match for example. As a single person throughout my life, I have always been intrigued by what married persons, both females and males, are allowed to do, or permit themselves to do, within the framework of the marital commitment. It certainly varies a lot. I'm really something of a sociologist in the way that I observe and try to understand human behavior and the "social order," part of that social order being marriage and relationships.
 
In Gainesville I knew a woman who frankly stated, "Oh I never go anywhere after dark without my husband." Then, I knew another person who practically never did anything WITH her husband. She and I traveled quite a bit to Atlanta and Birmingham, camped out together with a group once, etc. One thing that bogs me down in any relationship is that I really at times want to go off alone, or be alone, and I don't want that to be a problem. Watch language--Some married people always say "I did this. I did this." They never say "we." Other married people never say "I"--its as if they don't exist. Some balance it.
 
I'm not certain about you not being in a triangle with me. Perhaps not from your perspective and not from mine, but you indicated your wife had some concerns. To her, I have been triangled in, however marginally. And right now, you and I are triangled between our past, our present, and any future.
 
If you have journals from "that time" and your wife has read them, she probably knows more about "us" than I do. I recall episodes and periods, but often I don't recall the segueys (I'm not certain I spelled that right) from one thing to another. For example, I recall your little house with that man who played one record over and over and over ad infinitum ad nauseum.[1] Then, I recall your other house sort of back in the woods and how we would walk through to the woods to swim at that apt.[2] But I don't recall your move, nor your move out to Micanope[3] precisely, nor my segueys in between. I also don't recall what point in you life you were when you visited me at Alachua General Hospital. And where was I living then. I know I moved three times in that period.
 
Contracts class last night was wonderful. I made the Dean's list last semester taking a full load, but I am part time this semester. I really love the law. It has the logic and precision I enjoy from science, but has the characteristics of an art in how the law can be applied to the circumstances of human existence.
 
This is one of the times when I think I'm writing too much, as I'm restless at work, having done almost everything yesterday. Yes I'm in the Central Time Zone and was aware you were in Eastern. I come to work at 8 and leave at 4:30, so you go home, I imagine, well before I do, esp. if you leave early. I lunch usually at 1:15 or 1:30 for about 30 minutes.
 
I think you/we are getting a little touchy about relationships. Perhaps it has to come out. I haven't had to work out the issue as clearly with another person, so I can have some ambiguity. EJ

[1] That man was Bill my roommate who would by a new album and then played it over and over again for weeks, sometimes months. I must have heard the song Pinball Wizard a thousand times. See Entertainment 1973. [link 1973]
[2] After I moved out of the apartment with Bill I moved to the place in the woods off Archer Road. See New Place 1973
[3] It is spelled Micanopy, pronounced Mich-an-opey. It was always a joke to tell people who didn’t know how to pronounce it was My-can-o-pee.

Perhaps it was a triangle, Me, Julie, and a disembodied, virtual Elizabeth.

The Past