A Conversation with
Elizabeth
1998
Off--Not the Insect Repellant
From:
Elizabeth
To:
LMixson@PEC.com
Sent: Thursday,
April 23, 1998 6:24 PM
Subject: Off--Not the Insect
Repellant
I wanted to let you know that I asked to have tomorrow off, so other
than this message, I won't write Friday. (I'm staying in my office right
now after hours waiting for the Bowman lecture.) For some reason I
have not been able to focus as much on my exam as I need to, and I am
also tired. As well, I'm going to the Bowman (grief) lecture
tonight at 6 to 8, which shoots tonight for studying. (I'm
imagining you are getting tired of me talking about studying).
The lecture today was okay, but he seemed tired. One "cute" thing
was he pointed out that LISTEN and SILENT have the same letters, and how
silence, not responding, can have an impact on listening, or the person
feeling "unheard." One other thing of note was he talked about how
he and his wife agreed before marriage (they both had kids already) that
an important value would be "couple time." But after a few weeks,
she started complaining that he was NOT spending enough time with her,
but he could list out many, many things "they had done together."
What he/she discovered was that they had different definitions of
"couple time." To him it was everything they "did" alone together,
for example, perhaps cooking dinner together, or going to a film alone
together. But for her, it meant more just sitting together, with
NO activity, just talking, or having non-sexual physical contact.
I did realize that I often ask people "why" they do things, and he says
that makes people defensive. I recall I asked you "why" you fixed your
own brakes, although I'd like to check the message to see what I did
write. I can't think of how to rephrase that "why" for brakes, but
I guess you could say, "Why don't you want to go home to see your
mother," and then I might become defensive. Whereas, "What are
some of the things you think about when you say you don't want to go
home." I always think that "why" helps me think though. If
someone asks me "why" then I have to come to a realization of "why" I
feel or think a certain way. Perhaps "why" could be accusatory
though, depending on tone of voice. How about you?
I'm bringing my lunch now, as well. I tried the experiment, which
was really easeful in some ways, of eating everyday in the cafeteria.
I also felt it was rather economical, as it only cost about 15/week.
But, even choosing carefully, I gained weight, so I'm back to packing a
lunch now. I spent 60.00 at the groceries Sunday, so that's
equivalent to a whole month of lunches, and I hadn't been to the grocery
store and spent that much in a long time, as I was just getting milk
usually.
Oh, I forgot to tell you. Occasionally I will listen to Jeopardy
to clear my mind of work, when I don't have class. One of the
questions was "What is the doctor testing you for when he does the cough
test." I thought, "Oh Larry never answered my question about what
the test was for, although he explained it." So, I couldn't answer
the question. A woman guessed and correctly--it tests for a
hernia.
I cannot WAIT until after Friday.
I went to the bookstore last night briefly as they were having a big
sale on everything. It makes me wonder if they're going to
close--it was at Books a Million and now we also have Barnes and Noble
which is competing. I was going to get Wired, but the May issue
wasn't around, although by this time it should have been out.
Also, I wanted one or two books, but they didn't have them (I really
don't like the book store very much as Barnes and Nobles is much
better--more cerebral). I did get a couple of CD's--all Bach--two
versions of Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring, one with guitar and one with
trumpet. I really scored on a Paul Winter album, a compilation of
early Wyndam Hill, for only 2.00.
Teflon music.
Well, I need to close, as I think walking through the hospital to get to
the psych ward will take me 20 minutes.
Larry-this is crazy. I just went to send this and there is no send
icon on the screen. Bizarre.
Elizabeth
Updated: 04-05-2024