A Conversation with
Elizabeth
1998
Listening
From:
LMixson
To:
Elizabeth
Sent: Friday,
April 24, 1998 9:08 AM
Subject: Listening
How to listen is one of the big things Julie and I learned at the
Couple's Workshop. It is amazing how two people can "talk" to each
other and not really ever "communicate". We learned a process
called the "Couples Dialog" which is a somewhat formal process to talk
to each other so that the other person understands what you are trying
to say and, probably more important, you feel understood. After
learning it in the workshop, practicing it at home and then doing in
therapy for a year it now comes somewhat natural. I now how the
lecture person feels about "spending time" with your significant other.
Our definition of time spent together is different. I always feel
that I spend a lot of time with Julie but she often says that we spend
little meaningful time together.
The "Why" question. It does not bother me as I am also a "Why"
person. Julie on the other had is not a "Why" person and jumping
out with the Why question can get her upset. The Why question is
my trying to understand so I can solve and fix. From the Couple's
Workshop and working with Julie I found that she often does not what me
to fix but is wanting consoling, understanding, sympathy or just to
express how she is feeling.
Well, I off to the ATF downtown. I am working with another guy
here to modify the current ATF system to handle a new form.
I guess you found that send icon?
Till, Monday
Larry
Updated: 04-05-2024