A Conversation with Elizabeth
2017
Catching up

From:           Elizabeth 
To:             Larry
Sent:           Sunday, November 5, 2017 8:43 PM
Subject:        Re: Checking In
 
Hello Larry,
 
Thanks for checking in on me and how I'm doing and also telling me what's been up with you.
 
After I got back from my Canadian Rockies trip in late September, for no real reason that I've definitely identified,  I went through a couple of weeks when I just didn't pick up on staying in touch with people I email with.  This was nothing personal about you or them. 
 
I also had a minor health problem to deal with (a UTI--probably from some of the squat toilets in remote areas of Canadian National Parks).  This was aggravating and did sap my energy for about two weeks until I got it resolved.  Taking antibiotics for anything always makes me sick as a dog, and I hate to take them. 
 
Soon after getting back I also started an online course (Coursera) on "Understanding Einstein:  His Special Theory of Relativity."  I pretty much immersed myself in doing the course and doing extra reading in some of the books I have around my house.  I think I did that to mentally blot out being back in Mississippi!

Not picking up on doing emails may have related to that as well--possibly initially not wanting to step back into my life and routines here--don't know for sure.
 
I know the anatomy of the back, but what does it mean "your back going out" and you being able to eventually realign it.  I know people use that phrase all the time, but I've never been clear what it meant.  The Dean at the college where I worked here in Kosciusko (my "boss") was bed ridden for some time, and his wife said his back "went out."  I started having very low back pain if I do too much yard work where I repeatedly bend over when standing.  If I can do the work, like planting or weeding, while sitting on a small stool, I try to do so.  Otherwise, I just deal with a day or two of discomfort. 
 
From what you wrote, your plan to return to Gainesville seems to be moving right along, or at least rapidly approaching. 
 
Otherwise, I may bungle putting this into words, as I haven't truly put it into words in my own mind yet, and this may consequently sound abrupt or too blunt,  but one reason I didn't pick back up on emailing you is that I'm just not sure how to continue relating to you. 
 
After a few weeks of being incommunicado after my trip, I gradually fell back into fairly regularly emailing my other email "friends."  I think one of them had also sent me a "what's up--haven't heard from you in awhile email" back in October.  The others I picked up on my own.
 
I'm not talking about hoardes of people, really only 3 to 4, two people I knew in high school, one in graduate school, and one of my former U of F professors now in his mid 80s--but he is French and had gone to France in July for a lengthy stay, and after emailing back and forth while he was there a time or two, for some reason I didn't hear from him again.  I had told him I was going to Canada in September, but like with others I didn't email when I got back. I haven't followed through with reconnecting yet--don't know if I should--as he has very minimal vision from a stroke, and reading and writing  on a computer can be taxing for him.  He is divorced, but convivially so as he and his wife live in adjoining apartments in Biven's Arms and still travel together.
 
In general--just talking about it--if  an email friend doesn't email back, or email like you did, even though they haven't heard from a person, it is hard to know what to think--especially if that is the only way you communicate.  Two of my email friends also text with me though and occasionally we talk on the phone.  I haven't seen the professor since 1968, and I doubt he texts.
 
Sometimes if I haven't heard from a person, I'll email again, but if I don't hear again, I usually close on it.  That happened to me with a female friend I had here in Kosciusko, with whom I used to do a fair amount like go to movies or concerts.  She retired and moved to Birmingham, to be with family, and emailing just fell apart. 
 
When you and I first reconnected back when I was in law school, we emailed regularly, but I don't know at what point it fell apart.  I know that in the interim you got a divorce, and after I had graduated and got my law license I visited you in Reston--although originally my plan was to stay in D.C. so I could visit the Supreme Court, etc.  Years have past now.  I did ax you and all my other Facebook friends except one some time back--getting really tired of Facebook's superficiality.  I only do FB for news now, although I occasionally message people.  I have ONE friend or actually two, as I had to add someone to teach them how to do FB.
 
At times along the way, before or after Facebook, after long lapses, I've emailed you, but then you'd let the exchange drop or sink, so I would too.  Then, I think I was always the one to try to reconnect after some time had passed.  I think I did that again at some point before you sent my name for the Blue Apron offer.  Then we emailed a bit again, but I was surprised that you seemed to be keeping it up.  After Canada, I just didn't know how to pick back up with you.  I don't know what interest you have in hearing from me or about my life, or my concerns or desires, or my interests.  I have to honestly ask myself and try to answer the same thing about my interest in you.  Even my old poly sci professor asked me to stop in for champagne if I were ever in Gainesville again, and my other friends have invited me repeatedly to visit them, although two of them are in stable, happy relationships--one married, one gay.  On the other hand, you've never expressed any desire to ever see me again, and I certainly wasn't sure about bringing it up.  Sometimes you've let me know you were in Gainesville, and I know you are heavily immersed in family when you go down there, but I've wanted to make "one last trip" to Gainesville for some time now, and often thought about at least a short meet up with you--but not with your family--just to revisit campus and some old stomping grounds ( For example, I no longer have ANY idea where the house is where I lived when I first met you--only that I used to BIKE to campus from there, all the time).
 
Some time back, I struck up an email exchange with a writer in New York I believe, when I wrote him about an article of his I read.  We emailed back and forth a time or two, but then he didn't reply to one of my emails.  I didn't want to just leave it dangling, but I sort of read that he might not have the time or desire to continue, so I emailed him a short note and said basically, "I want to thank you so much for talking to me in depth a while back about the article you wrote and sharing some of your thoughts with me.  I really appreciated it at the time.  Thank you so much, and I wish you well."  He wrote back and said, "I wish you well too, and I'm happy I could help you with your thoughts on this issue."  That was a nice ending to a brief, but meaningful exchange. 
 
But anyway, I sort of have a clear picture of my relationship with other email friends I have, framed in part by the significant other relationships they have with other people.  With you, I just don't know what's up.  Even to say that we're "old friends" doesn't give much guidance for how much either of us continues to be interested in the other!
 
Also, since my friend moved to Birmingham, I don't really have any friends here in town--just one family with two now grown children.  I commuted for so long, four years, and was away for such huge chunks of time, that I became something of a forgotten person.  Also, LOL, in this town I'm surrounding by lunatic Trump supporters--70% of the town or county voted for him.
 
Well--time for The Walking Dead!  My students turned me onto this show.  At first I didn't see the point, but watched the first few episodes and got hooked.  I had always just seen bits of disjointed episodes with nothing but zombie killing it seemed.  When I got hooked,  I had several seasons to catch up on which I did on Netflix, but now I stay regularly up on it by watching the weekly episodes, which just resumed the past week or so.
 
All for now (I'm sure I said enough!)
 
Elizabeth
 
P.S.  I don't have time to reread what I wrote, so I hope I haven't been too awfully rambling or incoherent.

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