1974
The Ice Dream
A Cry for Help

Frozen Lake Anne, Reston Virginia 2015

I was standing in the middle of a frozen lake.  I looked around me only to see nothing because the snow had made everything white and covering up any distinguishable objects.  How I got there I didn’t’ remember but that didn’t really matter, I was there.  The problem was that the ice where I was standing was slowly melting.  It was melting from the heat that my body was giving off.  I could feel my feet slowly sinking and the cold water covering them.  I knew that if I could stand perfectly still that my body temperature would go down and the ice would stop melting.  But if I did that I would freeze to death.  So I stood still part of the time to be cold and move part of the time to keep warm.  But I still sank slowly.  I thought that someone had to come upon the lake soon and save me from this.  I thought how it would be.  They would see me and rush out on the ice as far as they could then throw a rope which I would grab so that they could pull me out.  But I knew deep inside me that if someone would come that the rope would break and I would sink below the surface before they could get another.  I sank up to my waste now.  The water was cold.  I wondered why I still sank because as soon as the water covered up part of me I could no longer feel it.  It was as if the water took all the heat out of me, leaving me frozen.  But I still sank.  The water was up to my shoulders when I realized that if I had walked off the ice before I started sinking I would have been safe.  I thought “If…”, it was too late now.  As the water came to the level of my mouth I took a deep breath and the water covered me up.  I realized that I couldn’t see anything.  The water was completely black.  Then I suddenly realized that I had a long straw in my hand.  I didn’t know how it got there but I knew instantly what it was for.  I put it to my mouth and took a deep breath.  It was as if the water wanted me alive and supplied me with a means to stay alive a little longer.  I wondered why, why didn’t it let me die then instead of giving a small but hopeless chance to be discovered.  The straw, I thought, it must reach to the surface.  If only someone would see it and pull me up.  I wondered how long the straw was.  If only the straw was larger and had a large sign on it above the surface saying “help me”.  But I know it was only a small straw no bigger then a pencil which could easily be overlooked by someone passing by.  I could tell I was sinking deeper because the pressure grew greater.  Then the straw suddenly stopped sinking with me.  I knew instantly what happened.  The water at the surface froze as if it was trying to cover up my life completely and taking with it my only hope of help.  I still kept sinking, I took one last breath as the straw slowly move from my mouth.  I still held it in my hand but I knew I couldn’t hold on much longer.  If only someone would see the straw on the surface and pull me up.  But why should anyone pull a straw out of the surface of a frozen lake much less even see the straw.  But they had to.  It was my only hope.  I let go.