1977

Fall

At the end of August I considered taking dance classes again and wrote in my journal:  "I debate often with myself lately on the subject of taking up dancing again. Classes started this week I would like to dance again for my body longs to be exercised. The feeling of exhausting after a ballet workout is a relaxing and enjoyable feeling. To do those appearingly unbelievable movements with my body requiring all my strength, balance, control and concentration Is not only challenging, but fulfilling emotionally. "

At the start of the school year my younger sister Beth went to live with Brenda and Tom in North Carolina where she went to 11th grade and then the 12th grade.  It seems she had become a too much for Mom and Dad to handle.  I think that Mom and Dad were enjoying life, with us three older kids gone, they wanted to be done with raising kids.  

Ever since reading John Lilly’s Programming and Metaprogramming in the Human Biocomputer a few years before, I had been fascinated with the concept that the human mind was like a computer and could be programed.  I wrote in my Journal...

Journal Entry
September 1, 1977  

If only my thoughts and feelings could flow with these pen strokes onto this paper. But to write I must struggle with the imprecise, awkward language called English. If only there existed a language defined precisely and structured in a logical and rational manner.  Then again English language may be adequate and if may be only my own inability to learn it.  But the computer programming languages that I have learned are much more logical and rational, and using them extensively, I can almost think in them, at least for basic mental tasks, for computer languages are much too simple for the complex thought patterns of man. It would seem possible to develop a more sophisticated and complex language for man, but with the well-defined, and with the logical of computer language.  

The minds is like the computers that I program to make a living in that it also can be programmed.  The concepts are similar at lies in that thought processes are designed, constructed, and of course, debugged.  

I consider myself a cross between and intellectual, a technician and an artist, perhaps with a touch of fool, being a bit arrogant and proud.  But above all, being rational, although with intense emotion. Finding joy and beauty in all, for from the proper perspective, all has beauty and joy springs from Beauty.