1998

Really Bad Day

The first of September Julie and I signed up for the fall yoga session at Health Advantage Yoga Center taking the level 2 class taught by a teacher named Susan. A small petite woman, I found Susan to be a very good teacher, she explained things well and in a logical manner which I liked. At the end of each class, she would tell a short story about something in her life that illustrated some yoga philosophy or point of view.

The last week of October I had a really bad day. I had come down with a sinus infection for several days and was feeling tired and rundown but I still got up and went in and suffered at work. After work I met Julie and we went to a couples therapy session when halfway through the session she announces that she wants to move out. Things between us have been up and down the past few years but I thought we were making some real progress this past year on most of the issues.  The past couple of sessions Julie brought up some issues which I thought we had mostly already worked through but clearly not to her satisfaction.  I knew we had more work to do, and we would continue to do so, that’s why I was there that evening.  As they say at tribal council on the Survivor TV show, it was a real blindside.  Well, I had all sorts of feelings of anger, depression, relief and acceptance, and Julie said I didn’t have any emotions.  She just didn’t see them simmering inside of me. I thought it would take her several weeks for her to find a place, perhaps she would change her mind.  In the meantime, it was somewhat difficult and tense for both of us.

Julie moved out two weeks later, the day after our 17th wedding anniversary of November 6th into a condo a mile or so from our place in Reston. Anne, who had moved back home after graduating from Vet school, moved with Julie. It was tense but civil the week before they moved out, and I helped them move their things using my Ford Explorer. I pretty much told Julie to take whatever she wanted furniture and household items wise, and she did but she was thoughtful enough not to take everything. 

I had very mixed feelings about her leaving, after seventeen years of having her there every day the house felt empty, well mostly, she did leave me the cats. I was sad about it all, yet on the other hand it felt good not having the tension surrounding her.  We continued to see each other a couple times a week and talked on the phone most days.

AOL