A Conversation with
Elizabeth
1998
Families
From:
Elizabeth
To:
LMixson@PEC.com
Sent: Friday, June
5, 1998 11:09 AM
Subject: Families
(Abrupt beginning, but following up on your note.) But then, you wonder
(I wonder) about your brother's problems and why Julie seems to react
rather negatively to your family. I think having a larger family
can make a difference. My father was an only child, and with him
deceased and both my grandparents dead, scratch that side of the family.
With my mother from England, and what's left of her relatives having
gone to Australia, or passed away, scratch that side. Basically this
family is me, my sister, my brother. I've sort of become friends
with my sister-in-law, who is divorced from my brother, and try to stay
in touch with Laura, who is my niece. But, that's it.
I did e-mail the lawyer in St. Petersburg and he e-mailed me back.
My "query" was rather long, but I thought I'd lay it all out. His
response indicated that he would have to reply through regular mail, as
he cannot dictate e-mail, and that his first "response" would be no
charge. (You may or may not know that a lot of attorneys offer a free
initial session, some charge a "reduced rate" of 50/hour. I think
it helps them screen clients, and sort of pick and choose, if they have
plenty of business, but on the other hand, sometimes it is possible to
get enough free advice to make needed decisions.) BUT, here's the
rub, and I'm certain it's something my sister has counted on all along,
as she is a legal paraprofessional--his rate is 150/hour afterwards,
plus probably a retainer, which he didn't specify, but which I imagine
would be at least 1000, or even 2000, or possibly even 5000. It's
out of my ballpark. He indicated he operated a totally automated office,
which allows the delivery of the most cost effective legal service, but
still----legal stuff takes time. I have one money market account in
which I have to retain 2500 to keep the high interest rate, but right
now I have about 2501 in it. I could decide to use that money, and
let go of that account, but I've had it for quite some time, and it was
a sort of a one time offer by the credit union. Since I'm maxing out on
401 contributions, I literally live from paycheck to paycheck right now,
at least through this summer, while I'm also paying full tuition.
Oh, well. If I had to "go to court" or whatever, and if I "won" I
could ask for the other side to pay attorney's fees, but sometimes the
judge won't do that. Also, I don't know the "rules" of Probate
Court. In some places Probate judges don't even have to be
lawyers. It's not as "formal" as regular court, more like a
hearing.
I went to the public library after work yesterday. My intention
was to get information on self-writing a will, as a friend and I have
decided that we are both going to do one, because we are single. I
knew there was a book there called "How to Write Your Own Will in
Alabama." I also got a book on probate, and a self help legal book
that talked about inheritances. To let you know I'm not totally
obsessed, I also spent some time getting information on a short paper I
have to write for law school on a "constitutional issue."
My counselor has been very supportive, although I have not talked with
her directly. I e-mailed her the day I did you (last Friday) and she
wrote back, and we responded back and forth a few times. She also
sent a card right away. She is funny because she is in her 60's
and just got a computer and has AOL. When I first sent stuff to
her via e-mail, she would "lose it" and then tell me to resend it.
Yesterday I got an envelope from her in the mail. It was a copy of
an e-mail to me that she couldn't get to "send." At least I got to
laugh.
Did you hear on NPR that that new movie with Truman Cary (?) is supposed
to be really good. I can't stand him. I may not have his
name right. He's the one who pulls all the faces, but apparently this
movie is a straight acting role. The director is Peter Weir, whose
films I really like. He's Australian and did The Witness with
Harrison Ford.
I just heard that today is the anniversary of RFK being shot, 30 years
ago. His son was on NPR. He was three years old when his
father was shot. I guess there are all sorts of ways to lose a
parent.
The biggest thing that hurts for me right now is "enjoying something."
If I sit down and even enjoy something simple, like toast and butter and
coffee, it hurts that my mother will never enjoy anything again.
The first time I visited her, she was still enjoying stuff, but the last
time I visited her, it almost seemed she wasn't "enjoying" anything.
On my first visit, we were having breakfast in her facility like at 7:30
a.m. We finished and then my mother said, "Now for dessert."
When the "waitress" came around, my mother asked for ice cream.
The stupid waitress said, "Why in the world would you want ice cream at
7:30 in the morning." I could have choked her, as it seemed like
she would have been trained better. My mother's "problem" was that
she had absolutely no idea what time it was. I looked at the
waitress, and said, "Bring us some ice cream." Well, I never had
ice cream that early, but my mother ate all of her's and said, "This is
really good ice cream isn't it."
Slow day. I have to wait until I get mail from St. Pete, which may
answer some of my questions.
Did you get your pool finished yet? Have you had a chance to
see the Horse Whisperer? Oh, a long time back you said something
about having passed on an opportunity to get a picture with Whoopi
Goldberg. I absolutely cannot stand her.
Elizabeth
Updated: 04-08-2024