A Conversation with Elizabeth
1999
Relationships

From:          Elizabeth 
To:            LMixson@PEC.com
Sent:          Tuesday, January 19, 1999 1:53 PM
Subject:       Relationships (movies and otherwise)
 
Right, I would like to know more about nanotechnology.  While I don't think its actually nanotechnology, one of my favorite books/movies has always been Michael Crichton's Terminal Man, which involved a person being controlled by electrodes in his head, which in a way was very like the X-files episode.  And, one of my favorite X-files episodes of all time is the one done by Gibson, but I forget the title.  Nothing much new--I'm still plowing away at Charles Dickens.  It will probably take a third renewal.  I also started one of Baldacchi's (sp?) two newest books, called The Winner.  He wrote Absolute Power.  It is very light reading.  I DID make it to the movie last night, which was excellent, although VERY out of line in terms of what the mainstream would accept in a movie.  Unbeknownst to me it had two female stars of The Practice playing in it.  I think the basic theme was "relationships" and how people seek happiness through them, and also lose happiness in them. 
 
Everyone in the movie had a quest for "happiness" through seeking a relationship either with a particular person they were already "in love" with or in a "type" of person they couldn't find, or had a compulsion to have a particular type of relationship, in which "happiness" is actually perverted to others. One wife "happily" married and with children, was actually married to a husband who was secretly a pedophile. He eventually acted on his impulses. One man madly in love with his neighbor, incessantly made obscene phone calls because he could not "find" satisfaction in any other relationship.  The person with whom he was madly in love, was the daughter of the closeted pedophile.  In turn, a neighbor of the man in love with his neighbor was in love with him, but he constantly rejected her because she was "fat."  (She was played by the heavyset lawyer in The Practice).  There were many other such layers of relationships and perversities, and particularly the pedophile aspect completely put it out of the mainstream, but it was very well acted.  It was one of those movies which was on the one hand very "funny" but on the other hand you really felt you should not be laughing, because all the people in the movie were very serious about their "happiness."  I mentioned to a friend that I had recontacted you and later mentioned that to my surprise, and apparently yours, your wife had separated.  My friend said it sounded like your wife was giving you a "wake up call" and attempting to convince you to "conform" to her needs--or else.  That's a pretty severe assessment, but the close contact Julie has maintained with you--virtually becoming a drop in neighbor--leads me to believe she really wasn't actually on a quest for having her own freedom per se. I mean, some people "bolt" a relationship because they want free.  They want "away."  They want "space."  They're cramped. Basically they don't want the relationship anymore. That definitely doesn't sound like what Julie is doing.  It sounds more like "fix it"--or possibly fix it or else.  I know you don't want the "or else" so I hope it works out.  What a long time to be together.  Since men your age are supposedly at a premium, you could probably start dating (younger) women almost immediately if you chose, and even remarry. Julie's life choices regarding relationships are much more limited, simply because of her age and gender--which is brutal, but that's the way it is. I personally think you are being more than gracious about all that has transpired.  I think I would probably feel quite wounded, and I don't know, really know, if I could adequately "repair" once a person moved out on me.  I might always fear it happening again, and find it hard to rebuild and retrust, as completely. 
 
Well, I need to do something about lunch, possibly soup again, although today is sandwich bar day, which is actually okay. (Every day there is the main line stuff, but then a separate "bar."  Some days it is taco bar, or Chinese, or "wing" bar, or potato.  Today is sandwich.  Elizabeth

“Men my age” at a premium, dating younger women? What was that about, but then remembering back when I first met Elizabeth, she 22 and was dating Fred who was in his 40’s.  Right, and I don’t think she ever got over that relationship.  Julie moving out was a wakeup call…. wait a minute, Elizabeth said her friend said that she was talking to her friend about me… okay, that’s interesting. Yes, Julie moving out was a wake up call but Julie never made any demands or “or elses”.

Nano relationships