A Conversation with
Elizabeth
1999
Re: Happiness
From:
Elizabeth
To:
LMixson@PEC.com
Sent: Friday,
October 15, 1999 11:44 AM
Subject: Re: Happiness
I'm not certain why I asked about happiness, but I appreciate that you
explored the notion with me in your e-mail. Bottom line, I don't
think "I'm happy." When I read your letter though, I wonder if I'm
judging things accurately. What you described about yourself seems
to fit me as well--I don't ever have, or rarely have, a ho ho ho type of
happiness, or jolliness, but I do have states of enjoyment--listening to
music, or watching my hummingbirds, or getting a good law school grade.
I recall how GOOD I used to feel riding my bike--exultant in a way. Its
just, truthfully, when I look around I SEEM to see other people who look
happy. For example, in the cafeteria, which I totally avoid,
except to get carry out. Workers flock in there, get in groups of
twos, threes, fours and REALLY seem to be enjoying their meal together.
I can't stand it in there. Most of the day at work I am alone. I was
watching two women the other morning, they had "mega" breakfasts, they
were also "mega" obese, but they REALLY seemed happy, sitting together
having breakfast. I guess questions about "happiness" relate to
looking at one's life and asking, "Do I need to change anything."
I feel weighted down at times by my life--which often means simply the
physical "stuff"--for example my rusting VW which I don't know what to
do with, but also boxes and boxes of papers, and tons of books (although
I don't consider those a weight really). Well, the stress of the past
few weeks, I'm sure, is responsible for me getting a fall "cold" of
sorts, although it really feels more like allergies than anything, which
it may be. Its just aggravating as I could hardly breathe in class
last night as my nose was so stopped up, and taking medicine just makes
me sleepy. I identify with those things as well--more leisure,
more companionship, or relationship, and certainly more money.
Still trying to get through the Hannibal book--I think its overrated as
I'm finding it poorly written. Did I tell you I picked up a few
older books by the man who wrote Snow Crash.
I've really not been able to read though in a long time. My Tax
Law course is really eating up my time. Nothing planned for this
weekend, but I'd love to catch a movie. Elizabeth
Updated: 04-29-2024