2002

Melody

In 2001 I tried to reconnect with Melody sending a letter to her mother’s address hoping that if she didn’t still live there, her mother would forward it to her.   I had not heard from her for over twenty years (1980) and wondered how she was doing but didn’t hear back from her and had forgotten I had sent her the letter when in January of 2002 when I received the following letter back from her saying she indeed was still living with her mother. 

I was greatly saddened by the note.  My ex-wife’s mother had bipolar disorder, so I had some experience with it.  Her mother was often seemly high as a kite or totally depressed. Meds helped but when she was feeling good she didn’t think she needed them and stopped taking them, which of course made things worse.   When I knew Melody as a dancer when we were so young she had aspirations to become a dancer.  I remembered her writing “I’m really happy here – all the dance arrangements have finally gelled and I take dance class every day and watch rehearsals when they are scheduled.  This is probable one of the best things I could be doing for my career in dance. “  To hear now, twenty five years later, she was still living with her mother, never married, no children, working as a secretary.  I wanted to remember her has the young beautiful woman with so much creativity and expression through dance.  She had no children, I wondered if she put that in because that one night we spent together back in 1976, well I supposed that was one thing I didn’t have to worry about, not that I ever did. Yes, the letter made me sad. 

She had provided her email address which as with AOL which I found interesting since I worked for AOL but was not all that surprising since over 30 million people were using AOL at the time so I sent her an email.  I don’t remember what I said but she replied.

We wrote a few emails back and forth and I asked if she would be interested in meeting for lunch and she said she would.  She lived north of Washington DC in Laurel Maryland, halfway to Baltimore while I lived west of DC in Reston Virginia, so we agreed to meet at a chain restaurant that was in a mall about halfway between us.   I arrived fifteen minutes early, got out and stood outside the entrance to the restaurant waiting for her.  It was in the middle of the week and the restaurant was not that busy so when a woman by herself parked, got out of the car and started walking to the door I wasn’t sure it was her.  As she got closer, I was pretty sure it was, so when she got close I say in a questioning tone, “Melody” and she answers “Larry” and I say yes.  I barely recognized her, but once I did I could see it was an older version of the girl I once knew.  Going from shoulder length hair and a moustache I had in the 70’s to bald and no moustache, I could image what she thought of me.  We had a nice lunch, talked about how and what we each were doing.  I almost thought I felt a glimmer of hopefulness in her eyes as we talked but there was no longer any spark in mine.  As we walked out the front door of the restaurant we briefly hugged, I saying in what was probably a less than sincere tone, “It was good to see you.” and she replies, “You too.” then we turn away I walk back to my car and with one last look over my shoulder I see her getting into her car and drive away.   I am not sure what my intention was in seeing her, I am not sure what I got out of it, perhaps I want closure on the relationship, something which I did not fully get, but she did then, and still does today, hold a warm spot in my heart.

Yoga