Mixsonian Larry

The Lonely Mind

Sitting Alone on Foggy Night
Woman sitting alone on foggy night.
Photo taken 2015 at Lake Anne, Reston Virginia

Journal Entry
March 1974

It was the last week in the quarter
I doubt that I would ever see her again.
I felt like going up to her and saying
"Good by, it has been nice not knowing you."
And see the surprise on her face
Having never spoken to her before.
Or it could be disappointment,
Disappointment because she also wanted to have said something to me
I was with people, people were all around me
But I was alone
Not physically alone but mentally alone
Having no one to care and to understand
I look across the room and see her
Sitting there saying nothing, looking gloom
Thinking she might be alone
She too might need someone
But I couldn't say anything to her
She might laugh, she might not understand
So I say nothing, for nine weeks.
I sit silently watching her, hoping
Hoping she might say something
Something to me that would show she understands
But she says nothing
So I remain with people but yet alone
Being a lonely mind.

After seven weeks of sitting next to Elizabeth in class, I worked up the courage and asked her to have dinner with me and she said yes.  With Friday two days away, I was excited.  When I saw  Wendy the next day at work, I told her about Elizabeth coming for dinner on Friday and invited her and Sean to also come.  I think  Wendy agreed so she could check out this new girl I had been telling her about.   

Friday night came, I made the Beef Stroganoff Hamburger Helper.   Wendy and Sean arrived, and a short time later Elizabeth arrived in her Volkswagen van.  It was a wonderful time. Late that night after they all had left, I wrote in my journal…

February 23, 1974 (1:10 AM)

 Wendy and Sean also came for dinner tonight. The food was fantastic. Talk conversation was also perfect. She’s(Elizabeth) (I believe) is becoming interested in me.  I like her. She’s intelligent, she never asks questions, or forces herself on anyone else in anyway. She has a very good memory, doesn’t hold a stare very long (i.e., she doesn’t hold eye to eye contact for more than a few micro seconds. Only once did her and my eyes meet long enough that I broke contact first.) She has a fantastic body, tall, slim, long hair, long legs but small breasts. I’m not sure whether or not she gets stoned.  I’m beginning to think not. (oh well) Seems to be very sensitive (what ever that means) She seems to be very independent. By her tool kit she would seem to be handy at working on things. Can’t recall the exact situation, but while talking today she said or suggested that a few (1-2) years ago she went though some sort of mental trauma but now is getting her head back in shape.  She seems a lot like myself but yet in a completely different way. I hope to become closer. Yes

I was smitten.

Updated: 04-08-2023