1975

Suzi

In May I got a letter from her Suzi who made it to Cincinnati.  She started the letter with…

Do me a favor – go in the house, put on a mellow record, feed Kathleen, and smoke a joint, and then read this letter.

May 10

Larry,   
  I sure hope this letter finds you in a better mood than I am.  Well, I finally made it to Cincy – “the land of promise”.  The other day I was sitting around waiting for the weather to clear up and I said something to Hilary (the chick I’m staying with) and she told me it was air pollution. I’ve been spoiled in G’ville.

She went on telling me how miserable her trip back to Cincinnati was…

   It only took me a couple of days to get to Cincy. I figured that after 3 breakdowns U-Hall would be sure they gave me a truck that ran. How could I be so naïve. I was sitting in a traffic jam just outside of Atlanta and sure enough the monster stalled out on me. I was so pathetic. I had no idea what to do and everybody was uptight and honking their horns and of course all I could was stand there and cry.  I didn’t even know w here I was.  I didn’t have a map and I was following the signs back to 75. The guy that picked me up told me I was on 411 instead of 41 so consequently it took 4 hours to just find out who towed the truck and at 11:00 on a Friday night it’s impossible to find a new fuel pump and a U-Haul mechanic in the same place at the same time. I got back on the road Saturday afternoon and it rained all the way to Cincy.

I saw her as brave, courageous, alone, having strength, resolve, determination, she persevered and overcame, attributes I admired. She continued writing the letter the following day.

May 11   

True it was a rotten trip but that isn’t the reason I wrote.  You’ve listened to me rant and rave long enough. I’ve just finished smoking the next to last high on that number you gave me and I’m really high so excuse me while I tell you what I wanted to tell you for a while. You’re really a unique person. Especially our eyes. Their the first thing that drew me to you.  I really enjoy sitting around talking to you. You were the person who helped me decide to leave that situation.  It hurts now but loneliness sort of forces you to look inward.

 [Something I was familiar with. She went on…]

I love the way you would look at me like I was nuts when I would tell you these mambly pambly goals.  I had because I felt like I was in a situation I couldn’t change. That’s when I started coming over every day. I could have said all this in person if Pat [her boyfriend] hadn’t come so often. He wouldn’t understand.  I think you know I love you. I only hope you understand what I mean. There’s no commitment behind it aside from friendship. I’d like very much to make love with you but even I never did it wouldn’t change my feelings. It’s always good to have friends like that. Kind of like Pure Prairie League’s “Early Morning Riser”.

I feel good right now. The reason I wanted to you to get high before you read this was to create some sort of bond.  I’ve been feeling really lonely and tight lately. …… My feet have blisters on them from looking for jobs.  And Cincy is so yuk! ….. I wanted to tell you I love you for a while and I was afraid I’d never find the time or privacy to say it.

Reading this letter through I guess it sounds pretty strange.  It’s really fun trying to guess your reaction to it. It took me an hour to write. I’ve been sitting around trying to imagine sitting in you living room watching you read it. Mos of my letters don’t warrant a reply but I’ve laid myself so wide open in this one I hope you can find time to write.

What more can I say?  I’ve told you what I’m doing and thinking so let me know what’s happing with you.

Suzi

The week after reading her letter I bought Pure Prairie League’s Busting Out album.

Early Morning Riser
By Pure Prairie League

I can still feel all your sunlight shine before the dawn
First light morning feeling's got me losing so much sleep
I just can't say how much I miss you when you're gone

 ‘Cause I get a feeling something like a summer wind
When you love me like a sister, then you're gone again
But there's so much light shining in your eyes
That you just can't help but keep a love alive  

Now I hear some other loving sunshine brother's
Left you crying and you're all alone
So dry your eyes and try and say your goodbyes
‘Cause you're old enough to get back on your feel all on your own  

Don't you kind of get a feeling like a summer wind
‘Cause he loved you like a brother, now he's gone again
But there's still a lot of love light in your eyes
And you sure know how to keep a man alive  

Well you can stand right there and tell me something's wrong
It's so hard to know your problems when you're gone  
So, early morning riser
There's not much more I can do to try and make things right
If you need another sunshine brother
I can be right there beside you by the early morning light

And I'll forget that feeling like a summer wind
And I'll probably start to think about you now and then
But there's still a lot of light shining in your eyes
And you still know how to keep a love alive

I did write back but have no recollection what I said.  I was attracted to Suzi but wouldn’t say I loved her.  Perhaps I would have if she stayed in Gainesville things might have been different but moving to Cincinnati to get away from her abusive relationship was what she needed at the time.  I would later drive up to Cincinnati to see her.