1976

Journal Entry

April 2, 1976

But leave my body to the animals,
My mind to man,
And my soul to the gods.
For I am no more.
Split into three,
The trinity of Christianity. Ha!
But no, not so,
Only a likeness thereof
I cannot but love
Only not allowing myself to be loved
I will not be bound thus
I cease to struggle against
The invisible
The bonds are only in my mind,
There lies my world
Not among those empty shells
For I can see into their fragile world
Suffer and wither to become a ghost.
Foul heart stirring restlessly.
Constricting upon the arteries of life
I fail the ones I love but in one way,
My love grows stronger with time
But only to crush them
Release my energies,
Return them to the pool of life.
To be divided into countless pieces
And be redistributed among future souls
Only to be recollected,
Each piece being drawn to each other.
The gaps fill in slowly,
The completed picture forms.
Complete yes, whole no.
I drift though time and space.
I drift though time and space.