A Conversation with Elizabeth
1998
Movies, Work, etc.

From:          Elizabeth  
Sent:          Monday, June 15, 1998 10:24 PM
To:            LMixson@PEC.com
Subject:       Movies, Work, etc.
 
I'm writing after law class, as I was too busy at work to even check my e-mail today, so I just read your message.  Re:  The Truman Show.  I "caught" the "christof" and "the santa maria" but I didn't think of true-man.  I was busy at work today, but with interesting projects.  I can't believe that I got asked to research Tai Chi and then, just before I was leaving, Vipassana meditation--by two separate people.  The first was a rush job for Administration.  My weekend was almost "collapse."  Usually I watch news all Friday night to sort of catch up, which I really find enjoyable.  Just before six though I happened to note in the t.v. guide that a Cameron (of Titanic fame) movie was coming on Sci. Fi and it was about three hours long.  As I was too exhausted to do anything, I thought at least I would get the benefit of watching.  It was called the Abyss.  I personally thought it was a more interesting movie than Titanic, and I could see how after making Abyss, it was sort of a set up for him doing Titanic, as it involved ocean filming.  Have you seen it?  The storyline was basically about an oil rig crew discovering a deep sea form of alien intelligence.  The movie won best cinematography or something like that in the 80's when it was made, and was apparently one of the first movies to heavily rely on computer animation to create "reality."  What I liked was that Cameron commented in between parts of the movie (which actually then made it almost four hours long), and he talked about how "long" movies were not favored and how he was sort of "made" to cut The Abyss.  I guess he finally got his revenge with Titanic.  I had never heard of the Abyss and wonder why I didn't catch it when it came out, as I have always followed movies. Oh, also.  "Christof" out of Truman was the main star in Abyss. Sci Fi showed the uncut version as well, so I got to see what wasn't shown in the movies--which was an entire subplot.  Also, most interestingly, Cameron said the movie sort of came from a "dream" he had which was recurrent, and that after he made the movie the dream stopped.  I'm glad his Titanic fame allowed the bringing back of The Abyss.  If you ever have a long lazy afternoon---it was my entire Friday night.
 
I'm off track a little--I had to sleep this weekend--it was oppressively hot outside anyway. I feel sort of "dull."  I went to bed very early Sunday night, and woke up at 5:00, and could have gotten up, but still felt like "another sleep," so eventually I was 10 minutes late for work.
 
I did write a long e-mail to my sister on Sunday and then found her address was invalid.  A friend later told me the letter was "too strong."  But, Larry, I am going no where with this issue.  Forget lawyers.  I called another one here and they said they couldn't help. I think that's because it's a Florida issue, but also because they wouldn't get anything out of it but one visit.  I called lawyer referral here and the ONLY probate lawyer in Montgomery with license to practice here and in Alabama is on maternity leave.  I could have seen her for 25.00, but when I found she was "out" and there was no one else, I really got discouraged. I also got really angry at the "legal profession" today.  To me it's like this:  It's sort of like if you called a doctor and you said you had a cold.  The doctor says, "I'm sorry I can't see you."  What the doctor is NOT telling you is, "I would see you if you had pneumonia because then I could charge for several hospital visits, diagnostic tests, and probably follow-ups.  But, for a simple cold, I wouldn't make anything."  That's what I get the impression lawyers do.  Unless they see a "case" which will go on and make more money, they don't want to waste time on just simple advice. Maybe at heart I'm going to be more of a legal "counselor."  That's what I want to do.  I could care less about going to court with "cases."  I just want people to understand their options.  That's all I want someone to help me understand right now--what are my options.  
 
It is very aversive to me to call my sister, but EVERYONE keeps saying, that I need to do that--or eliminate that. That's why I wrote the e-mail, but a friend said it was "too hot."  I finally decided today to call when I knew she probably wasn't home, and tried to "just ask" what she intends to do about mother's estate.  I told her to call me tomorrow.  I have put the ball in her court, now, to let me know what's happening.  The lawyer I e-mailed did write back (I don't think I told you, but he said it could be "expensive" to pursue this).  I didn't tell him how much money may be involved, because in a way I don't really know.  He offered some simple first moves, but the primary stumbling block is "the will" or not.  He offered to advertise in the legal papers in the area (I've now learned this is a common attorney practice--they run notices to ask other lawyers if they have done a will on a person--its supposed to be somewhat mandatory ethical that you answer if you have).  But, my mother was not "with it" when in Pinellas County, so I think if she had a will it would be in Brevard County.  (BUT, I just got an idea.  I was told I could get the Bar Association in Pinellas to help me with the ad--the attorney who wants to charge me 150/hr. didn't tell me that, but the clerk at the courthouse sort of stumbled that out--so possibly I could ask the Brevard Association (is Rockledge in Brevard County) to run such an ad.
 
I only have three months to file a "claim" apparently.  I think the attorney in St. Pete can possibly help me if I find out whether there is a will or not, because he said I could file myself in Probate Court. 
The "law" is that in Pinellas County if there is a will, the person holding it is SUPPOSED to file it with the Probate Office within 10 days of death.  But my sister hasn't done that--but if nobody pursues it, as the attorney told me, my sister can just "plunder" the estate and that's that. 
 
You don't know what any of this is about, I'm sure, and I forgot a major piece of the story.  Unless I have told you this, and if I have I apologize. It happened after you moved, but I was still in Gainesville, but just before I moved to UCF. When my sister was to be married, I arranged to drive down with my mother to Boca Raton for the wedding.  I drove to Titusville to meet my mother, then we drove together.  At the wedding "breakfast," immediately afterwards, the most "hurtful" thing occurred. The table was T shaped with the top of the T being for the bride and groom, with them facing the long part of the T.  On each side of my sister and her husband, at the top of the T, the immediate family had seats.  My sister's husband had ALL his sisters, brothers, and father and mother by him.  My sister ONLY made a place (we all had name cards)--No, I should say it this way--She did not have me a place at the head of the table with "the family."  I started to go there, and it was so embarrassing--my seat was way down the long part of the T--in the "party" so to speak.  People next to me introduced themselves to me and asked me "how I knew the bride or groom."  I had to say, "She is my sister."  Larry, it was AWFUL.  It was the first time I had ever been "suicidal."  I sat throughout the breakfast just thinking that I wanted to walk into the ocean and drown.  I couldn't even eat.  NOW, I would either leave and walk out or pick up my "place card" and move to the front of the table.  But then, I just felt--paralyzed--shamed--because she was apparently too "ashamed" of me to have me sit with the family.  AND, my family went along with it.  I was a total "nothing."  Have you heard of eye desensitization movement (or something like that--Ask Julie--I forget the initials--ESDR or ESDM or something like that.  A few years back I had a therapist work with the "trauma" using that technique.  It was very painful.  But that wasn't the origin, not really, just a culmination.  But it is why, I have "divorced" my sister. 
 
Sorry, major dump.  Time for me to go home anyway.  Elizabeth 

Reading about her relationship with her family made me appreciate well my family got along. I hoped that that would be the case when Mom and Dad died hopefully sometime far into the future.

Movies, Relatives and Lawyers