A Conversation with Elizabeth
1998
Good Observations

From:          Elizabeth  
To:            LMixson@PEC.com
Sent:          Thursday, December 3, 1998 12:47 PM
Subject:       Good Observations
 
I've thought about "cycles" myself, esp. in how they relate to work/school and even more especially in terms of what I seem to need to function best. I was at Univ. of AL so long that I was really accustomed to an academic schedule with relatively long Christmas breaks, and easier load summers.  At my first professional job at ASU, I recall what a bummer it was because we all had to work up to and including Christmas Eve--until the President of the University "gave us a break" and said we could go home "early." I felt my  "academic" friends had it easy.  The other university here, Auburn at Montgomery, does the two weeks at Christmas break thing, and the employees love it.  I don't like THEIR schedule because that's the only time I could leisurely use their library, but they close down.  Like you said, but in other words, both school and work can have a tension then release like pattern, build-ups to things like completing projects, or papers, or finals, then getting it done and over with.  I think your job's "pattern" is different than mine.  Mine is really almost staccato like, usually quick relatively demanding bursts of research that people want done quickly or usually immediately, because a patient is involved.  Rarely, do I get a project that stretches out over weeks.  Because of this though, I hardly ever take anything home. In fact I try to do any work that comes in as soon as possible, so I don't have to face it the next day.  Unless it comes in late in the day, and unless its one of the rarer longer projects, I can get it done.  At the public library I ALWAYS had undone work, or work I couldn't get to because of lack of time.  But at a deeper level--cycles--there is again renewed evidence that even medical treatments are enhanced when given at a certain time of day, or for women, time of month.  I've thought some about how we sort of cycled back to some sort of relationship, esp. in the context that both of us have also contacted other "old" friends who then never bothered to reply (I never again heard back from the friend I "found" in Mississippi.  She never wrote back again.) I've noticed your work "patterns" just as you have noticed my school patterns.  At certain stages, you usually can't or don't write much, etc.  I think though that you are also in a mega pattern different than mine, that is contract work, whereas I have the
(hopefully!) assured job type pattern.  But then, you've said you are always assured of work, even though you change jobs.  My Masters degree in library science gave me some of that assurance--usually, esp. in larger cities, there is always library work.  If I left here and went to N.Y. or Denver or prob. even Wash. I could prob. have a job quickly.
 
I've lost track of time--you probably haven't--but Julie moved out--what about three weeks ago.  As I've said several times, to me, it doesn't seem like much of a break away, on her part, although you indicate you experience her "absence" quite a bit.  I guess what I'm trying to say is that it seems she didn't want to get drastically "away" or drastically separate, just, what seems to me, a little bit, because she moved so close, and you're doing evenings and holidays, etc. together.  I guess people have different needs and requirements for closeness and distance in relationships, and I find myself wondering what "balance" you two will strike, and whether this is a balance she is comfortable with (you're both available to each other), but perhaps over the long run, you might not be.  But, as you said, you are hoping it will work out and resolve itself. 
 
Well, slow day, long note.  Last days of class are a relief and anxiety provoking because, if there is a review, as there was for both classes, it is extremely anxiety provoking.  I came home and found myself studying until I couldn't hold my eyes open.  I also found unfortunately that I got burned on a text I bought for part I of a course and now that I'm taking part II, the text has been changed.  That's one penalty for getting out of sequence.  The burned part is I paid prob. 70.00 for the first book, and now would be out that again for a new one.  I did call the book store though and the man has ONE used copy for 56.00.  He actually sort of volunteered to hold it for me until I get off, as I "sort of" asked.  He said I could get 8.00 to 10.00 for the copy I don't need.  That's a loss.  I was thinking driving in that to do school at my age, you just really have to roll with all the crap--its like the first time around you could get pissed at all the little things, but now, you know it's just not worth it, you just have to get through.
 
My "friend" here who is 55 and trying to "find something" took an application out to AUM today (that's the place that gives two weeks break at Christmas).  I don't want her to leave though because she's one of the few people I can talk to around here.  Elizabeth 
 
P.S. I just thought to about the cycle of being in a job or doing things where you are always learning or experiencing new things.  I think my friend's job is like so many jobs women have--she does the same thing over and over and over again ad nauseum.  Intellectually my job is fairly stimulating--although it pulls my mind usually in different ways than I think I really want to go, i.e. into medicine, although the "health" part I like.  Part of me was always pulled to medicine, but I had to reject, or did reject that as a "path" for me, but it took a long time.  I was still thinking about it after I left UCF and even went to a "med school" admissions information class in Tampa.  Oh well.  I love law, even though I don't know where it will lead, or where I will take myself with it, to be less "passive."

TGIF